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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Pregnancy & Parenting Support / Viewing Topic

What do I do abusive ex and newly pregnant?
Replies: 26Last Post Feb. 7 10:53pm by joule
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( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
My ex tried to attack me last Monday when I told him I might be pregnant. Then to add to everything he tried to press charges for sexual abuse because he's a minor we're only 2 years apart but in California it doesn't matter minors can't consent no matter what. Anyway I got a positive hpt yesterday. I had sex a little over 2 weeks ago and haven't had my period in almost 5 weeks and 12 days late on my period. I'm an adult I can make my own decisions if the stat rape charges stick I'm getting an abortion but if I don't I don't want him involved. But I don't know how to hide if from him if we got the same school. I have a job do well at school and have a good family though they're working class and not middle class. My ex's has a lot of issues. He hates children. His mom is a drug addicted prostitute and he lives with his dad who is a recovering addict and he's been hospitalized. He isn't really anyone I want around my child or to have a child with him involved. I'm also scared if he finds out he'll be again violent... Advice?

11:57 pm on Feb. 4, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
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PBScott


Executive
Reply
Stay away from him, and get yourself in a position to be a mother. Having kids young is a blessing in disguise, it means that they move out when your still young enough to really enjoy life.

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12:05 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2009 | Days Active: 228
Join to learn more about PBScott British Columbia, Canada | Straight Male | Posts: 867 | Points: 3,173
L C


can you dig it

Patron
Reply
Personally, I'd abort in your situation, but what do YOU want? How do YOU plan on dealing with this situation? And by adult do you mean 21+ with a job or a fresh faced Senior in high school?

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Forgive my Lack of Virtue

12:05 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2006 | Days Active: 824
Join to learn more about L C Colorado, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 27,616 | Points: 45,782
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
Well I know single moms who do it fine without the dad. I'm just not sure if that's what I'm willing to do plus I'm scared of him and all...

12:06 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
legally I'm an adult. Which by law I'm an adult that's all I mean... And there are 26 year olds without jobs living with their parents. I'm an adult with a job.

12:08 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
I don't know most of the time I thought if I had a job and was of age I'd keep it. I have a job but I wanted to go to school. But I can't say I wouldn't deny the chance to have this baby because I know I could do it like I think with family support it will be hard but I can do it. I guess... Just as long he's not a problem....

12:12 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
tell me again


it's that place

Patron
Reply
he's already an ex, so stop all contact with him and try to stay as far away as possible. you don't have to tell him about it if you dont feel safe and think that he might attack you.

he can't attack you AT school, because there are people there watching right? try not to be alone with him at all, ever. if he attacks you, you can go to the authorities and you can get a restraining order, which means he can't come near you if it's approved. unfortunately as long as he doesn't attack you, you've just got to be careful and look out for yourself. there's nothing to force him away.

with the sexual abuse charges... they may let you go even if you're found "guilty" because as you said, it's only 2 yrs difference. it's still illegal, but they might just not punish you for it. (fingers crossed!)

can your parents help with the baby?

what do you mean that you'd get an abortion if you get charged? it's not the end of the world if you do get charged, and the baby may be alright anyway. but whatever choice you make, you'll need to consider everything still.

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i spy on you too


12:12 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 1,336
Join to learn more about tell me again Australia | Label Free Female | Posts: 24,411 | Points: 41,302
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
I mean if it goes anywhere extreme. I could depend on my parents I think as long as it's what I want to do and all....

12:15 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
tell me again


it's that place

Patron
Reply
you shouldn't choose to abort in fear of a guy. there are legal safeguards for that.

but if you aren't sure whether you want to keep the baby, take the time to think through it all, and maybe talk with your parents if they're supportive as you say

it's a big decision. just having a job may not be enough. or may not provide the life that you want for the baby (and yourself).



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i spy on you too


12:15 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 1,336
Join to learn more about tell me again Australia | Label Free Female | Posts: 24,411 | Points: 41,302
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
I just when people at school find out I'm pregnant he may try to do something that's what I'm scared more about....

12:16 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
with my parents I feel like if I told them I didn't know what I wanted to do that I'd end up aborting I don't want them to influence me.... I know they have their opinions but if I'm staunch in what I want to do I won't be swayed.

12:20 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
tell me again


it's that place

Patron
Reply
i get the sense that you dont even WANT the baby that much... except that you seem to think of keeping it as the default option, and then have the backup of "oh well my parents can support me as a last resort"

abortion is a real option too, and if you're not opposed to it, it's worth thinking it through properly and considering.

do you see a future for the baby? can you imagine yourself loving him/her?

or is it just something you're stuck with for now and you want to do the right thing but dont know what you want?



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i spy on you too


12:20 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 1,336
Join to learn more about tell me again Australia | Label Free Female | Posts: 24,411 | Points: 41,302
( southernrosebell1 )


Grasshopper
Reply
I want to do the right thing and I don't have anything against abortion and I can see that I would easily emotionally feel attached asI would now.... It's just how I think really I mean parenting always is thought over once one is pregnant.

12:25 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Feb. 2012 | Days Active: 1
Join to learn more about southernrosebell1 United States | Posts: 15 | Points: 25
amber1991


Omnipotent One

Patron
Reply
I'd try getting a restraining order against him.

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http://mysticalfairytalesandmyths.wordpress.com/
http://thosedreamlessnights.blogspot.com/

12:34 am on Feb. 5, 2012 | Joined: Dec. 2008 | Days Active: 761
Join to learn more about amber1991 Kansas, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 8,678 | Points: 17,654
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