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Quote: from Victor Seven at 6:36 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from OzzysGirl at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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we are dirt poor and im planning on being a stay at home mom. id rather raise my kids then someone do it for me. i might clean 2-3 days a week until i decide to have a second baby but after that i wont work. i dont think life is about things but more about being with those you love. we dont need cable, internet, or a fancy house.

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I will NOT raise my children in poverty because I decide to stay home when I am capable of working.

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our income may be poverty level but we dont go without anything that we need. we live in a modest apartment and provide for our basic needs. we dont need anything else accept each other.

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:31 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Personally, for me, it's it not worth it. Just so I can stay home full time? No thank you.    

  Tbh, I think it's kind of selfish. Of course it's your decision and all, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't. It's extremely selfish imo.

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How is it selfish?  It is his dream to be in the military.  I am the only thing keeping him from being there full time.    

 If I have children, I want to be there for them 24/7 until they go to school, at which time I will take a part time job.  

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Well for starters you didn't say that it was his dream, or that you were holding him back.  

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:39 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from justbadnews at 9:31 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Personally, for me, it's it not worth it. Just so I can stay home full time? No thank you.

  Tbh, I think it's kind of selfish. Of course it's your decision and all, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't. It's extremely selfish imo.

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  this. if you think that staying home full time for your kids is what will be best for them, fine, but you should hold off on having kids then, and work your ass off now until you are financially stable enough to do this. that means being financially prepare above and beyond. your husband has a right to less work and more time with a family as well, and you should be considering his feelings too.

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 How am I not considering his feelings?  He wants to go into the military, and is only doing reserves now because he knows I am not fully onboard yet.  I am well past financially stable, but having the money to stay at home for 10 years or more isnt a necessity or realistic to save before having a child.  

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well then do it. no one's stopping you. if it is all good to you, and he wants to be in the military and doesn't mind raising a military family and sacrificing some time with them to do such, go for it.  

personally, i will have my house paid for and the college education paid for before i squeeze the sucker out, my financial investment plan is designed with the intention of retiring around 45 so that my family will be priority #1. there are definitely benefits to waiting, and you are young enough to reap those benefits.  

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Quote: from justbadnews at 9:49 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:39 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from justbadnews at 9:31 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Personally, for me, it's it not worth it. Just so I can stay home full time? No thank you.      

   Tbh, I think it's kind of selfish. Of course it's your decision and all, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't. It's extremely selfish imo.

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  this. if you think that staying home full time for your kids is what will be best for them, fine, but you should hold off on having kids then, and work your ass off now until you are financially stable enough to do this. that means being financially prepare above and beyond. your husband has a right to less work and more time with a family as well, and you should be considering his feelings too.

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  How am I not considering his feelings? He wants to go into the military, and is only doing reserves now because he knows I am not fully onboard yet. I am well past financially stable, but having the money to stay at home for 10 years or more isnt a necessity or realistic to save before having a child.

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 well then do it. no one's stopping you. if it is all good to you, and he wants to be in the military and doesn't mind raising a military family and sacrificing some time with them to do such, go for it.

 personally, i will have my house paid for and the college education paid for before i squeeze the sucker out, my financial investment plan is designed with the intention of retiring around 45 so that my family will be priority #1. there are definitely benefits to waiting, and you are young enough to reap those benefits.

 

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Because you know so much about me to be able to make such a judgement.

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you're right, i don't know you. all i know is what you post on this forum, which is mostly deeply personal stuff. you asked a question, i gave my opinion.

all i said before is that if he doesn't mind it, then you should. there are sacrifices to a military lifestyle. there are also benefits. it depends on what you value more in life, and i am not you so i can't determine such.

my opinion was that you should wait... mainly because there's no reason not to. i mean if you were like 35, yea, get on it. but when you're young, shit. you can get your shit so in order that you can be a stay at home mom and your husband a stay at home dad.

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trust your dealer, not your doctor
i like my love unconditional and my chronic dank

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:53 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from justbadnews at 9:49 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:39 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from justbadnews at 9:31 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Personally, for me, it's it not worth it. Just so I can stay home full time? No thank you.

    Tbh, I think it's kind of selfish. Of course it's your decision and all, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't. It's extremely selfish imo.

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   this. if you think that staying home full time for your kids is what will be best for them, fine, but you should hold off on having kids then, and work your ass off now until you are financially stable enough to do this. that means being financially prepare above and beyond. your husband has a right to less work and more time with a family as well, and you should be considering his feelings too.

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  How am I not considering his feelings?  He wants to go into the military, and is only doing reserves now because he knows I am not fully onboard yet.  I am well past financially stable, but having the money to stay at home for 10 years or more isnt a necessity or realistic to save before having a child.  

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  well then do it. no one's stopping you. if it is all good to you, and he wants to be in the military and doesn't mind raising a military family and sacrificing some time with them to do such, go for it.    

  personally, i will have my house paid for and the college education paid for before i squeeze the sucker out, my financial investment plan is designed with the intention of retiring around 45 so that my family will be priority #1. there are definitely benefits to waiting, and you are young enough to reap those benefits.    

 

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Because you know so much about me to be able to make such a judgement.

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you're right, i don't know you. all i know is what you post on this forum, which is mostly deeply personal stuff. you asked a question, i gave my opinion.  

all i said before is that if he doesn't mind it, then you should. there are sacrifices to a military lifestyle. there are also benefits. it depends on what you value more in life, and i am not you so i can't determine such.  

my opinion was that you should wait... mainly because there's no reason not to. i mean if you were like 35, yea, get on it. but when you're young, shit. you can get your shit so in order that you can be a stay at home mom and your husband a stay at home dad.

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I am NOT going to wait to have children, not by any stretch of the imagination.  I will have them as soon as I can, regardless of my age.  I am young, but I also have medical conditions which could make TTC a 10 year project.  If I were to wait until I was 35, I wouldn't have children at all.  My shit IS in order, but the careers that my husband and I decided on, are not million dollar careers.  They are careers that we decided on because we love what we do.

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People don't call an Ambulance because they did something right.

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I have nothing left to nit pick so I will just post for the sake of points.

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:49 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Victor Seven at 9:31 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Quote: from Cenere at 9:24 pm on Feb. 4, 2012

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Personally, for me, it's it not worth it. Just so I can stay home full time? No thank you.

  Tbh, I think it's kind of selfish. Of course it's your decision and all, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't. It's extremely selfish imo.

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How is it selfish? It is his dream to be in the military. I am the only thing keeping him from being there full time.

  If I have children, I want to be there for them 24/7 until they go to school, at which time I will take a part time job.

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 Well for starters you didn't say that it was his dream, or that you were holding him back.
 

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It shouldn't need to be said that I am not forcing him into it. I obviously cannot force someone to go into the armed forces if they do not want to. It would have been better to ask, instead of assume.

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How the hell would we know that?

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"ACCEPT YOUR DESTINY CENERE. WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF SUPERSEXY "

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Your head must be sore from all the face palms!

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haha

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But I agree with him wanting to go into the forces as being selfish. I could never support my partner for wanting to join the army because I believe (relax, I'm not saying this is fact) that it is a lost cause. The lives that have been lost, have been wasted. Taken away from good families. Why would he want to leave you and a baby? Just for the sake of what he wants? Yeah, it'll be good money and he'll be able to support you but at the cost of not physically being there and at the possibility that he might never return? That is the selfish part in my eyes.

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Week in and week out,
Your lucky charms will always let you down,
Maybe next week we'll see,
Maybe

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Quote: from chava89 at 4:42 am on Feb. 5, 2012

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Your head must be sore from all the face palms!

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haha

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But I agree with him wanting to go into the forces as being selfish. I could never support my partner for wanting to join the army because I believe (relax, I'm not saying this is fact) that it is a lost cause. The lives that have been lost, have been wasted. Taken away from good families. Why would he want to leave you and a baby? Just for the sake of what he wants? Yeah, it'll be good money and he'll be able to support you but at the cost of not physically being there and at the possibility that he might never return? That is the selfish part in my eyes.

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I don't see it as being selfish. Before entering a relationship with my Husband, I knew that his dream was to be a US Marine(as I'm it is for many others). I made the conscious decision to continue with the relationship. As his partner, it's not my place to tell him what he can or can't do. As his partner it's my job to stand by him and support him.  I have great respect for people who serve in the military and not just because I've come to see how Selfless and Self Sacrificing it is for everyone evolved. It definitely is hard being away from your significant other, constantly worrying about them, worrying if you'll ever see them again.  I wouldn't wish this on anybody, not everyone can handle this situation.

To Victor Seven
To answer your question "Is it worth it"
That is up to you guys  to decide. I never envisioned this type of life for myself. It's beyond hard and emotionally draining. It puts strains on the relationship (no matter how close/solid you guys thing you guys are). And as a stay at home wife/mother, let me tell you it is EXHAUSTING!! I drive myself crazy waiting on and tending to a husband and child 24/7. I love them but I literally can't wait til I can go back to work. lol.
I'm not 100% happy about having this type of life, but I'm supporting my husband and I understand this is his dream and He loves it. I'll gladly and proudly stand by him. He's my hero :)

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❤February 16, 2010❤
❤Expecting Baby #2 August 28, 2012❤

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I really don't understand why you're getting so offended, and annoyed over saying that you're not forcing him into going.  

How the hell would we know that?

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Why the hell would ANYONE force their significant other into something like that.

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People don't call an Ambulance because they did something right.